"FTD Brought Freedom & Healing"Oct 10, 2023
Seth (pseudonym) lost his job due to viewing porn at work. Amy (pseudonym) was shocked to see him return home from work early. That's when he confessed his long-term addiction to pornography. That's when Amy realized their marriage had been built on lies.
The future of their marriage hung in the balance and they both knew that Formal Therapeutic Disclosure verified by a polygraph exam was the only way to rebuild trust and save their marriage.
They followed the MRC process, worked with me individually in parallel to prepare for disclosure. They worked hard, trusted my guidance and entered disclosure from a place of security and confidence.
The result was a Formal... and very Therapeutic... Disclosure... for them both!
Today, their marriage is flourishing and they help with MRC to inspire, encourage and challenge others to do the process well.
Here's their story.
When discovery day happen to me, it was a bomb and I had the good wife attitude to make things better. Be a better wife, be more adventurous, be more kind, etc. in order for my spouse to stop his porn addiction. But instead I found out that I was lost and didn't know who I was anymore.
Then we heard about the Marriage Recovery Course and how the process can help us. We wanted to make our marriage work, we wanted to save it from more pain and I wanted to heal from the betrayal. Instead, the system opened my eyes to a new dynamic that I didn't know was there.
Through growth and healing I learned that not only do I have to heal and face the truth. But also that my spouse has to do the same in order for the new dynamic to work. For our marriage to work, I had to be more authentic and vulnerable in order for our marriage to heal and grow. The Marriage Recovery Course changed my life, my marriage and my world.
The last thing I thought our marriage needed was therapy, so I was reluctant to say the least when we went to see Jeremy. At the same time, I knew things weren't right and could be better. So we got going on this journey, and as is often the case, things got worse before they got better.
That was a hard pill to swallow because not only was I needing heart change, not only was my wife, but the third variable, our marriage, needed heart change. Through the program Jeremy put together, we learned and applied the most important and foundational peace of that heart change - trust.
It's important to note that I had completely broken my wife's heart and her trust in me, rightfully so, was in shambles. Undoubtedly, trust was going to be a very difficult thing to build up. What proved to be the most scary part of the journey for me ended up being one of the most effective ways of rebuilding trust, and that was through polygraph.
The lead up to that polygraph and the preparation for it was difficult to say the least, but also incredibly eye-opening and surprisingly freeing.
My wife and I have done a lot of work since then to build on a foundation of trust, and now more than ever before, our marriage is flourishing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically. Because of MRC, we communicate about everything with honesty and vulnerability. We truly are doing life together, and I would have it no other way.
And I know God would have it no other way because this is the type of marriage he intended all along. There is no one I would rather do life with than my incredible, brave, beautiful wife. Everyday she is a gift to me, and now I see that more clearly than ever before.
So, I can firmly and confidently say that committing to the MRC process and applying its principles will change everything for the better.
Years after completing Formal Therapeutic Disclosure, Seth and Amy now are experiencing vulnerability and relationship connection like never before. In addition, they have also started coming along side others in the recovery journey in various ways, including contributing to the MRC community.
When asked to comment on their experience with FTD, here's what they had to say:
"A foundation of trust is the lynchpin of a solid marriage and FTD was an excellent process for rebuilding ours, which had crumbled to shambles. Even though FTD was a difficult process, it helped me find freedom from the bondage of shame, lying and isolation wedged between us, keeping us from experiencing real, genuine life together. Trusting the process of FTD is important and I'm so thankful I did. My wife is worth it, our marriage is worth it."
"For me, formal therapeutic disclosure was a way to bring healing to what was an already broken marriage. Through this process, I was able to heal from all the betrayal, trauma of discovery and the polygraph was like a little bow on top. It was a process, one that I'm very glad that we did and I encourage anyone who's nervous or scared, to just to take that step of faith, because your personal health/mentally is important and God sees it that way too."
I hope you make the same wise decisions Seth and Amy did regarding how to use FTD and a polygraph exam to maximize therapeutic benefit for each of them and their marriage.
They trusted the process and did disclosure right. Now they and their kids are reaping the benefits forever!
If you want the best disclosure experience possible, then watch our free training, "Disclosure Done Right."
Then, enroll in MRC's premiere course to guide you from Discovery through Disclosure in the most efficient and therapeutic path available today.
- Part 1: When Is Formal Therapeutic Disclosure?
- Part 2: When Is It Best To Do Formal Therapeutic Disclosure?
- Part 3: Polygraph Exams In Formal Therapeutic Disclosure
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