Is There Hope for Porn Addiction? (Pt1)

addiction pornography Jun 13, 2023

 

Is there hope for porn addiction?  That's easy, the answer is...

ABSOLUTELY YES!!

UNEQUIVOCALLY YES!!

UNDOUBTEDLY YES!!

 

Now that we've established WHETHER there's hope, let's move on to the real question... "HOW?"

 

I'm reminded of a scene from Frozen 2 when Kristoff sings:

"Up till now the next step was a question of how
I never thought it was a question of whether"

 

Aside from the hilarious 80's references, Kristoff's sense of being "lost in the woods" reflects well the hopelessness and confusion addicts feel as they desperately seek a way out of their "woods of addiction."

Without an experienced guide who's traveled the path and a detailed map with definitive way-points, exiting the woods of addiction is an unlikely prospect. 

On the other hand, having both means it's no longer a question of whether, but how... even if the "how" means crossing difficult terrain and venturing into the known.

In spite of all the challenges, knowing the path creates confidence and hope!

If you or someone you love is struggling with pornography or sex addiction, then this series is my gift to you.  Consider it an open door invitation to experience "hope for porn addiction."

So, without further ado, here's Part 1.  Alright Kristoff, hit it! 

 


 

1. Define the Goal

 

As stated before, there is absolutely hope for porn addiction.  However, it begs the question of what you're hoping to achieve.  What is the outcome?  What is your end goal?

 

For most, the goal is simply...

SOBRIETY

... which means to simply refrain from viewing pornographic images.  So long as they have not seen pornography since their last relapse, then they consider themselves "in recovery" or having "overcome" or even "clean."

As nice as this may seem on the surface, it's a short-sighted goal that circumvents the deeper, more meaningful and highly transformative work of inner exploration, emotional maturation and spiritual development.  It's nothing more than Behavior Management.

The white book of 12-Step programs even has a phrase that address this lie, which states, "Sober is not Well."

It's a great place to start, but at best, this goal is only 1/3 of the journey "out of the woods."

 

For some, the goal is

SOBRIETY + UNDERSTANDING

... to refrain from viewing pornographic images plus understanding the triggers and motivators that cause temptation. 

To be "in recovery" now has a tighter set of boundaries as a person can mentally relapse into old addictive thinking patters even if they have not viewed pornographic images.

This is certainly a much better goal that sobriety alone, as it leads to deeper self-awareness and a more mature view of the recovery journey.  However, adding understanding alone still fall short of what is ultimately possible, basically a "half-baked recovery."

It's a great place to pass through, but at best, this goal is only 2/3 of the journey "out of the woods."  I must admit that 2/3 of possible is still 66%, which is technically a passing grade.

Sadly, over 90% settle for this goal, unaware of how much more is actually possible.  Oftentimes, their guides don't even realize there's an additional 33% remaining and thus are unable to get any further.

But hey, it's a passing grade, so why complain, right?  [gag me]

 

For a rare few, the goal is

SOBRIETY + UNDERSTANDING + HEALING

... to refrain from viewing pornographic images plus understanding the triggers and motivators that cause temptation plus healing the traumas that prompted you to medicate with pornography in the first place.

To be "in recovery" now has a much deeper meaning that goes far beyond behavior management and intellectual understanding, instead reaching the depths of the soul as a person truly experiences transformation and healing on an emotional, mental and spiritual level. 

Through the work of EMDR and IFS they transition beyond trauma awareness and into trauma transformation, rewriting the neural networks that once were necessary to survive, but later became maladaptive, often leading to pornography as a coping mechanism.

This level of transformative healing brings a person closer than they've ever been to their true identity, to regain the joy of being the man or woman God intended them to be.

This is a radically different goal than the first two!  It's an A+ grade, but it takes more time and effort than either of the first goals and sadly, only 5-10% of those attempting recovery ever reach this level of healing, oftentimes because their guide has never experienced it either.  As the saying goes,

 

"You can't lead someone somewhere you've never been."

 

 

If you ready for a guide whose been there and offers a definitive map to A+ healing, then check out:

Emergency Rescue Plan

 

If you want more than just trauma awareness, then check out: 

Transforming Trauma

 

 

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